Singing is something I have always wanted to do. When I was a child I found the courage to sing in front of a crowd of people and when I sang it wasn’t greatly received.
So I always sang in private or with my sister. Together we would dance and write down our favourite songs. Rehearse and repeat until we knew the songs by heart.
In 2012 I was invited to a retreat in the Amazon Rainforest, where we were led by shamans to sing together as a community. Our songs were devoted to the great mother. They named their songs Icaros. Icaros are songs the shamans sing to heal during a ceremony. The term that may be used also is medicine songs.
Singing in the Amazon brought together a community of people who were on a journey together to heal. Sometimes we were in tears, or we were lifted with great joy, what was profound at the end of the singing was the silence. The silence awoke the heart into an infinite unforgettable experience. There was one particular ceremony where me, the shamans, and the leader of our group were awake during the ceremony and everyone was asleep. When the shamans had finished singing the leader of the group had started singing and when she had finished singing. I felt like I was being called to sing. But I never had the courage to sing out loud, I sang quietly inside.
I have to admit that since my retreat to the Amazon Rainforest, I have a gift for channeling songs. Something I had ignored, but I am now listening and trusting what I am meant to sing.
During my ministry training, I remember being asked to do an attunement and the first thing that came to me was to lead everyone in a song. The song that I led everyone to sing was the song I never sang in the Amazon. It was the most daunting day of my life but I am glad I did it.
Singing played a big part of my ministry training, every song we sang was always preparing for us to meet the divine, or a message sent from beyond. All your worries would have been left by the time you had finished. Being fully present with each other and what is.
Allowing my voice to be heard and singing has always been a difficult journey. However, it is something I am willing to overcome to deepen my relationship with God and my ministry.
The first time I saw a harmonium was when Miranda Macpherson came to visit us in London, she played so beautifully and elegantly. I never thought today that I would have my very own.
Learning to play and building a relationship with my harmonium. Has taught me at the start, nothing comes easily and you will need to adopt a lot of patience. especially because they come without a manual. I am learning to not give up and preserve until it becomes natural.
Singing in harmony with the harmonium has been a challenge. Currently, I try to play every day. Which brings me great peace, in which I receive it to be like a healing prayer that I have sent out into the world.
The song in the video was channeled to me to sing. The words are “Let me love you”, and when I sing with deep devotion I often wonder what these words really mean. and who is really the singer? I even intuitively trusted the melody of the harmonium which was given to me.
Allowing love into my life hasn’t been easy but it is becoming a lot easier. This journey has been a process of learning, healing, and trusting myself. Every time I sing it feels like the beloved is softening me to take deeper steps to accept the grace and joy of her love. So that I can share with others.
I hope you enjoy this short video and that it brings you joy, laughter, peace, harmony, love, and happiness.
Blessings
Rev Dinah Pemberton
